Social media: love it or loathe it, we’re all on it. An integral part of most people’s daily commute/lunchbreak/general procrastination, it can sometimes be difficult to imagine what exactly our lives were like before it – how would we possibly cope not knowing what colour Kylie Jenner has decided to have her hair this week; whatever would we do without the repetitive memes to tag our friends in?

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However, arguably one of the biggest areas of young peoples’ lives that social media has changed forever is our love lives. The excitement of meeting someone on a night out and getting to know them gradually is all but a distant memory: in 2016, most of us have sussed out our date’s favourite movie, ex-girlfriends and what they did on their 21st birthday to boot before they’ve even invited us out on a date. While you could argue this weeds out the weirdos, it does somewhat take the romance out of the unknown (also it can be very awkward when you bring up something you read on their Twitter from three weeks ago when they haven’t actually told you themselves; explaining that one away never goes well).

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We spoke to Match.com’s Dating Expert Kate Taylor, who suggests the mystery of dating has pretty much disappeared thanks to social media, “When I was first dating, in the 90s (yikes), there were often whole days that went by without having contact with the guy you liked. It was frustrating, but exciting too”. Looking into the science behind this, dopamine – let’s call that the ‘attraction chemical’ – is produced by delayed gratification.. finally an explanation for why we always want that guy who just won’t text us back. It’s no surprise that snapchatting the guy you want to date every hour is going to show off his bad side at times, so perhaps leaving a bit to the imagination can only be a good thing.

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So, you’ve finally managed to get the date: drinks in the bar that’s just opened in town, yet also conveniently not far from the bus stop in case you need to make a swift exit. But as you sit waiting for him to arrive (of course you had to be the first one there), you’re frantically trying to decipher what bits of information you have on him that he’s told you, and what things you’ve found out from your pre-date “research”. Do not fear, as it turns out it won’t matter too much if you put your foot in it slightly; Kate says, “It’s all about chemistry, pheromones, scent, body language… You can’t Google any of that stuff. First dates now are really about discovering if the physical “spark” is there, once you’ve already found out all about each other online.” – that’s right, if you think you’ve seen his worst online gaffes, chances are he’s seen your weekly #throwbackthursday on Instagram.

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While these embarrassments may hinder your chances with some potential partners, all is not lost – you can use social media to your advantage. Think of it as branding yourself; not only for employers, but for love interests. (According to Kate, “treat your social media feeds like you’re a celebrity with a very well-guarded image”.) Though this may seem a bit OTT, it does make sense: thanks to apps such as Tinder, the majority of us will freely admit that we make snap judgements on people based on their profile picture, bands and celebrities they follow, and their – often cringe-inducing – bio (for those of us that bother to read it). So why not base your profile on the type of person you want to attract: for arty, lost soul types use a thought-provoking quote, for a party animal like you use snaps from your last trip to Bestival. In essence, “your social media presence is a powerful weapon in your dating armoury” says Kate – the 21st-century equivalent of a chat-up line… so keep those emotional romcom-fuelled late-night tweets to a minimum.

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There is no arguing that social media has changed the dating scene irreversibly, even for those of us who don’t actively participate and, inevitably, more changes are sure to come. It may seem extreme, but we’re really not too far away from the world we see in Black Mirror episode ‘The Entire History of You’, where a relationship is destroyed by paranoia, obsession and being able to see everything our partner gets up to. Perhaps it is time we stopped oversharing mundane details of our lives online, leaving at least some things to discover and chat about when we meet new people.

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For those who really have had enough of the internet altogether, Swedish website Deseat.me offers to simply ‘delete you from the internet’, a phrase that itself would have had no meaning 25 years ago. It couldn’t be easier: just give it your email and it will delete any account, website and app you’ve linked to that address, pressing the big red button on your online presence. Clearly there is a market for those wanting to switch off and go online, leaving their online life far behind them.